The beginning of a new life, 365 days of raw!

Tomorrow marks the beginning of my new life! I decided to start this blog as a resource for others who might be going through what I am going through, and for an outlet for myself. I have decided to go 100% raw, starting tomorrow, April 20th, 2014. This will not be any easy task considering where I am starting from. I figure if I can do it, anyone can. First, I am an alcoholic and I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. I have a quad mocha, which I love, every single morning. I am at least 75lbs overweight. I am 5'11 and weigh about 225, at least at my last weigh in about a month ago. I will be getting a more accurate weigh in soon. Although I am a vegetarian, I am a compulisve over eater and almost live to eat. When I say I am alcoholic, that is no joke. I drink anywhere from 12-16oz of hard liquor ever single day, for the last 5 years. I have tried AA and have found that it does not work for me, for many different reasons. I have come to realize that my addictions are all one in the same. I am just an addict, it doesn't matter what the substance is, whether it be booze, nicotine, food, etc. If it has the potential to be addictive, it's all for me. That is one of the reasons I have never tried hard drugs, because I knew I would be an addict within a second. On top of that I struggle to make my bills, partly because of the drinking and smoking, and partly because I just don't make a lot of money. I am also a single parent of a wonderful child who honestly, has no idea of all of my problems. I am VERY good at hiding what I am up to. That is not a positive thing of course, it comes from immense shame. My daughters other parent died just 2.5 years ago. I am all she has left. I am not only doing this for me but because this wonderful child needs her only other parent in her life for a very long time. I would be wonderful if when you became a parent all your bad habits just flew out the window, but that is not the case, you still are who you are. I want to be here for her for all the major things in her life, and if I continue down the path I am on that won't be the case. My goal is life changes, to stay raw for life. For now I am consentrating on 365 days. That is still a very long time but makes it a little bit easier on the mind. I am starting at a very low point in my life. Not only do I have all these physical things to contend with but I have been very depressed for a very long time. Obviously all of these things are tied together. I once went raw for 6 months and it was the best I have ever felt in my whole life. That is why this is the direction I am taking. I am not fooling myself, the next few weeks at the minimum are going to be hell! I will be detoxing from alcohol, nicotine, sugar, caffiene, etc. Some many say that I should not do all at once, but for me, they are all connected. If I have one it leads to the other, therefore it all has to go at once. I will suffer more in the short term but it will be better in the long term. Unfortunatley I have to work full time through all of this and I am sure it is going to effect that but I have to do this, even if it means being sick at work a couple of days. The biggest thing I am worried about is migraines. I am extremely prone to migranes and I know they are going to be strong and fierce for awhile. But compared to cancer and liver disease it's nothing. My hardest time is when I get home after work so instead of doing what I do I am going to get on here every night and blog, whether it's important or not, just to change my habits. So, 3 hours 35 minutes from now will mark the biggest change of my life, and the hardest. Wish me luck! 365 days to a new ME!